Kancil 270km/h??

[Starscreach]

Just another highway joke,enjoy:

one day, there was an old man driving an old kancil on da highway...than suddently his car broke down and terpaksalah he park his car at the ermergency lane waiting for help..after around 15mins...a young fella driving a brand new subaru impreza passby, he stop and asked that old man: "uncle, wat happend to ur car?"
"aiya..kenot move ar.."
"ok,ok..i help u k..." than that young fella took out a rope from his boot and said: "i tie ur car to my car, than i drive and pull ur car to the nearest mechanic,K?"
"ok,ok, thank u so much"
Than the young man answered: "no prob, but i kenot drive fast2..i drive around 70 onli har...if i drive too fast u double signal me...if i didnt notice u highbeam me, if i didnt notice oso u hon me k?"
Old man: "ok,ok"

and so the young fella tie the old man car and go....70km/h onli at the leftlane...than suddently an evo passby and shouted: "OI! subaru so slow meh? dun drop subaru face lar!" than fled off...
that young fella pissed off and chased that evo like crazy........

Results: all kena speedtrap and the traffic police said:
Evo, speeding at 270km/h...tats normal...
Subaru, speeding at 270km/h...ok oso
but that kancil...wat the heck..driving 270km/h..than tailgate that subaru than signal-signal,highbeam + hon so many times want to over take subaru..wat wrong wif u pakcik??????

[transformers]

LOL that's crazy
Speaking of jokes, I read one recently and paste here to share with you guys...


HUMAN RESOURCE DEPARMENT NOTICE TO ALL EMPLOYEES

Dear STAFF, Please be advised that these are NEW rules and regulations implemented to raise the efficiency of our firm.

1) TRANSPORTATION:It is advised that you come to work driving a car according to your salary.
a) If we see you driving a Honda, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise.
b) If you drive a 10 year old car or taking public transportation, we assume you must have lots of savings therefore you do not need a raise.
c) If you drive a Pickup, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

2) ANNUAL LEAVE: Each employee will receive 52 Annual Leave days a year (Wow! said 1 employee).
- They are called SUNDAYs.

3) LUNCH BREAK:
a) Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
b) Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.
c) Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast and take a diet pill.

4) SICK DAYS
We will no longer accept a doctor Medical Cert as proof of sickness.
- If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

5) TOILET USE: Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilets.
a) There is now a strict 3-minute time limit in the cubicles.
b) At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the door will open and a picture will be taken.
c) After your second offence, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the 'Chronic Offenders' category.
d) Subsequent pictures will be sold at public auctions to raise money to pay your salary.

6) SURGERY: As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs.
- You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact.
- To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment.

7) INTERNET USAGE: All personal Internet usage will be recorded and charges will be deducted from your bonus (if any) and if we decide not to give you any, charges will be deducted from your salary.
- Important Note: Charges applicable as RM1.20 per minute as we have 4MB connection.
Just for information, 73% of staff will not be entitled to any salary for next 3 months as their Internet charges have exceeded their 3 months salary.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience.
Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplation, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.

[Starscreach]

Originally Posted by transformers

LOL that's crazy
Speaking of jokes, I read one recently and paste here to share with you guys...


HUMAN RESOURCE DEPARMENT NOTICE TO ALL EMPLOYEES

Dear STAFF, Please be advised that these are NEW rules and regulations implemented to raise the efficiency of our firm.

1) TRANSPORTATION:It is advised that you come to work driving a car according to your salary.
a) If we see you driving a Honda, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise.
b) If you drive a 10 year old car or taking public transportation, we assume you must have lots of savings therefore you do not need a raise.
c) If you drive a Pickup, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

2) ANNUAL LEAVE: Each employee will receive 52 Annual Leave days a year (Wow! said 1 employee).
- They are called SUNDAYs.

3) LUNCH BREAK:
a) Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
b) Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.
c) Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast and take a diet pill.

4) SICK DAYS
We will no longer accept a doctor Medical Cert as proof of sickness.
- If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

5) TOILET USE: Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilets.
a) There is now a strict 3-minute time limit in the cubicles.
b) At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the door will open and a picture will be taken.
c) After your second offence, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the 'Chronic Offenders' category.
d) Subsequent pictures will be sold at public auctions to raise money to pay your salary.

6) SURGERY: As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs.
- You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact.
- To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment.

7) INTERNET USAGE: All personal Internet usage will be recorded and charges will be deducted from your bonus (if any) and if we decide not to give you any, charges will be deducted from your salary.
- Important Note: Charges applicable as RM1.20 per minute as we have 4MB connection.
Just for information, 73% of staff will not be entitled to any salary for next 3 months as their Internet charges have exceeded their 3 months salary.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience.
Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplation, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.

whoa...wat da hell... not even dogs wanted to work at that place..lol

[transformers]

Haha, this is suppose to be a lawyer firm because everything is rules and contract!! And they really know the meaning of words as well!!

You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact.